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Relationships |
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Have you ever wondered how on earth you are going to find a partner who may in the future become a long time relationship – and even your wife or husband?
This may be one of the most important decisions you have to make in your life and it may decide whether you'll have a happy relationship. There are no exact rules for everyone and we also live in different cultures where some of the less important matters differ. But here are the most essential guidelines:
1. Look for a partner that suits you.
2. Look for someone who is helpful and caring and outward looking
Be patient - sometimes it takes years to work out your maturing process so you are ready when the right person comes along. You will know, by your love and respect for the person and by the fact that he/she returns that love and respect for you, that this person is right for you. It is possible that some people may know at an early age who they will marry, but others do not. It is best these days to wait until after the age of 20 or 21for marriage, because you are more mature - 30 is a great age where you should have developed a good sense of self worth and know what suits you better than you did in the haste of your youth.
But first, meet new people!
Are you always with the same people? Put yourself in a position to meet as many people as possible to up the chances of bumping into someone you like. This is where online dating can be of real help.
Ask someone out
Hey... did you know... It's ok to ask someone out - even if you're a girl! Go on be brave and do the asking or at least make it easier for people to approach you if you haven't quite got the nerve. You've seen someone you like - are you going to sit and wait for them for ever? No. So start a conversation!
Start a conversation
First forget every pick up line you know! Best thing to do is find something interesting about them, and comment or ask them about it. As you're doing this, note their response: outgoing, shy, bored? What kind of things catch their eye? Have they anything with them that gives a clue to their interests? Do this part well and you'll strike up a good conversation. When you go and talk to them, be as original as possible. Choose something you have some knowledge of or interest in. People look for things in common and confidence comes naturally when you know what you're talking about!
Be yourself
Don't be something you're not. Impress only by being relaxed and confident. The best friendships are built on honesty - people know if you're putting on a facade. Also don't bluff if you don't get something they're saying - tell them!
Approaching a person in a group of friends
This makes things a little trickier! The potential for embarrassment is higher than when someone is on their own and the group interaction adds a few more variables. Pick the right moment - when the person is alone or slightly separated from the others! If such a moment doesn't present itself, introduce yourself to the person or to the group as a whole. Look at the group to select some conversation starters as before. If there is more than one person in the group you're interested in, well all the better! This isn't easy and you're bound to make mistakes at first. Anyway, falling on your face a few times will improve results! Better to make a move than wonder what could've been!
How to project confidence - a lesson from those in relationships!
Why do people in relationships often appear so attractive? A simple answer is their relaxed manner and apparent self assuredness (obviously helped by having a partner!) Take on these characteristics and you'll be winner! Someone who appears desperate is a sure turn off. At the same time - don't let any anxiety cause you to appear uninterested. The highest compliment you can pay someone is your undivided attention. But this may involve asking questions and yes, listening to the answers!
Before you find the relationship of your dreams, you’ll have to go through the dating game. A key to your success is to consider it as interesting and fun, and not feel negative about it. People feel if you enjoy yourself, and it will make anyone naturally more attractive.
some dating do's…
do reply to all first time emails you get, even if it's just to say that you've received the message and will get back when you're free.
do consider displaying your photo, it increases your chances of being contacted by 10 times!
do remember the other person can't see you - so they won't necessarily get the meaning you intended and humour can often be double edged.
do give honest answers when filling out your profile, and at the same time feel free to leave a bit to the imagination!
do take no for an answer! There are few things worse than being hassled by someone who can't take no for an answer. If someone declines your offer of a relationship, be reasonable. Ask yourself if you really are compatible with each other.
do keep the conversation light to start off. It's not superficial. Just get a rapport going.
and dont's…
don't meet someone in a place other than a public one or exchange personal details until it's safe to do so. Take care of yourself!
don't expect a commitment straight away. Remember to have fun finding out the kind of people you like. When it's time to get serious, you'll know!
don't be down if your fabulous offer of everlasting love is turned down!
It's not such a big deal. Everyone gets turned down!
don't be intimidated or feel you can't match someone's amazing genius, wit or composure! We're all gifted in different ways. Be yourself. For all you know they may be looking for honesty or some other fine attribute you have in abundance!
don't be too perfectionist! You've got to be attracted to someone, but give them a chance because some people take a while to show their true colours and you'll miss them if you're too hasty. Wait till someone's relaxed and you may find they're the best company and even funnier than you!
don't talk about your worst experiences in your first email! It's not particularly attractive to someone who doesn't know what a great person you are! However, the ability not to take oneself too seriously is a must.
don't lead people on. Flirting is one thing but gratification of one's ego at someone else's expense is not on.
Now go ahead and visit some of the relationship and dating sites we’ve selected for you. And when you find the right partner please let us know, especially if our advice was of any help!
© Before-Buying.co.uk 2006 |
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